A little girl's wish

Many times I wished for you to care
To love me,
Stay by my side,
Help me,
Encourage me,
Make me smile and laugh,
Protect me,
Make me feel special,
I've never had that

Didn't you think I deserve it?
Wasn't I important enough?
Did your own selfhatred get in the way?

While you wallowed in self-pity
And added even more regrets to your life
I was left alone, on the outside, feeling abandoned
Like I wasn't worthy

You acted cold and distant
The words I was too young to hear
You didn't care for your life,
Or to see us grow up,
You probably didn't see it like that,
But kids do,
We're not programmed to have adult minds,
You should've known,
I wanted to be loved and that's all I wanted back
To love you with all my heart

The few times you looked at me and smiled
Is all I will ever have from you
It hurts that I care as much as I do
When you've never been there for me
You were never there
I wonder if you ever wanted to

All those times you never showed up,
Made me cry,
Left all alone...
Did you even know?
Did you drink away the only hunch
You've ever had?
Was it worth it?

I get life is hard,
I get you're down,
Believe me, I do
But is that an excuse to neglect your flesh?
If someone hurt you in the past,
It was never me, never your little girl
Why weren't I your little girl?

You grew up in a distant family,
It does stuff to a person,
Just like all this did to me
I get that and try to be understanding
But my patience is fleeting
You don't value my heart
I'll still continue to kill you with kindness
That's a better way to die
Than die of the booze, old and alone

Hopefully you'll find peace and stop
This selfdestructiveness
If not, atleast I tried
A job not mine to do
Only you can make the change,
Only if you want do

I guess you're a lost case
Show me if I'm wrong
But I'll never hold my breathe waiting,
Because if there's one thing I've learned,
It's that you never keep a promise
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A little girl's wish

Pernille Augustson

Pernille Augustson

2 år, 10 måneder siden (760 besøk)

Kommentarer

  • Pernille Augustson

    2 år, 10 måneder siden

    Tusen takk Rolf :) setter pris på rådene dine! Sånt kommer alltid godt med

  • Rolf Gupta

    2 år, 10 måneder siden

    Dette er veldig sterk lesning! I'll still continue to kill you with kindness" og "I wanted to be loved and that's all I wanted back" er virkelig vakre setninger. Når diktet beveger seg ut av det private og inn i det personlige virker det sterkest, synes jeg. Jeg kunne tenke meg å utfordre deg på å reflektere over forholdet mellom disse to holdningene. Det er en hårfin balanse, men når man treffer på det personlige kommuniserer man ofte med flere mennesker. Når man er privat, kan leseren bli stilt utenfor diktet. Det er et vakkert og skjørt dikt, synes jeg. Som leser kunne jeg imidlertid ønske meg å bli enda mer inkludert. Det tror jeg du kan oppnå dersom du selv stiller deg litt utenfor diktet - da får du med deg enda flere lesere tror jeg. Min anbefaling er at du skriver masse mer, "sover på det" slik at du kan betrakte diktene dine både som mottager og avsender. Stå på!

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